My grandmother (pictured with me left in 1943) use to say, "Better to keep your mouth shut
and be thought a fool, than open it and remove all doubt". I’ve followed
her aphorism fairly well during my life. It works, too. You sit not saying a
word with a group of people having a serious discussion and they start thinking
you are smart, really up on the whole thing and if you do say something at some
point, it gets their full attention. Of course, if you never say a word it is
even better, because they go away thinking you were the brightest person in the
room, you obviously understood everything and you never said anything dumb.
I
discovered much later this idea didn't originate with my grandmother, but is
actually Biblical: "Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if
he holds his tongue.” Proverbs 17:28
Thus I take
a big risk by telling about my life herein. Some may actually read these things
and my mask will be off and they will see me a fool. It is a risk to expose
one's mind to others. You open up your head and perhaps all that is seen is a
black hole, or worse you crack that skull and a bunch of snakes wriggle out.
People do need to keep in mind my essays weren’t written to influence or
criticize others. This is about my exploration toward God and my failings along
the way. I am not writing to confront your beliefs, but my own. All of us have
opinions that conflict with those of others and sometimes we are too sensitive
on hearing a different view. If you take offence to anything, then please
examine why you felt offended, because there is no offence intended here. I
don't ask anyone to agree with me and there is certainly no way I can force
anyone to do so. All I can plead is you give it some thought before outright
rejection. As I say, it is a risk to open one's thoughts or mouth. Listening
can be much more profitable.
I met a man
for the first time a while back and he and I began to talk. Well, he talked and
I listened. What he said was interesting, because I took the time to listen and
although he said occasionally, "I'm sorry, I'm talking you leg off",
I assured him it was all right, I had another leg. The man was 80 years old and
had served his country during the Korean War. I learned about his joining, his
service, how he came to know the Lord, and much about his life. I also learned
another lesson about why we sometimes endure suffering.
Besides
having battled cancer for 17 years, the man more recently suffered some other
ailment, one of pain affecting his ability to hold objects. He came near death,
lost 40 pounds and landed in intensive care. A nurse commented to him one day
on his patience and his pleasantries to them. He explained their job was
difficult enough without his complaints. Besides he had no reason to fear
death. Another nurse told him he did make their day easier because many under
their care were bitter and blamed the nurses for their troubles. The nurses
asked him to pray for them, which he did.
What did I
learn from this?
The
realization when we suffer, our reaction to our trouble is observed by others
and may be influencing their lives in ways we don't know. They may not approach
us and tell us so, as the nurses approached this man, but it doesn't mean it
isn't the case and down the road our demeanor may help that observer (maybe
even bring that observer to trust God).
I've had sufferings
in my life, as have we all, and I hope I have borne up well through those
trails. Certainly at times I thought, why me? What have I done to deserve this?
I didn't necessarily do anything to deserve it. It may have been for the
benefit of someone else I was not even aware of and isn't that wonderful?
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